Betrayal Trauma Therapy for Partners
Compassionate, structured support after infidelity or sexual secrets online throughout California.
Judgement-free expert care that works.
When trust shatters, your nervous system goes on high alert. You may feel shock, anger, grief, or numbness all in the same hour. You don’t have to decide the future today. First, we stabilize your body and mind, establish safety, and build a clear plan so you can make wise choices from a grounded place.
Working With Our Licensed Trauma Therapists:
Who we help: Spouses and partners impacted by infidelity or sex/porn addiction
Format: Individual therapy, Couples therapy (50–120 minute sessions); optional 1–3 day intensives to accelerate progress
Where: In person in San Francisco or secure Telehealth statewide in California
Focus: Safety & stabilization, boundaries, paced/therapist‑guided disclosure, nervous‑system regulation, and a values‑aligned recovery plan
Approach: Trauma‑informed care (CBT/ACT, attachment, EMDR when indicated) plus Gottman‑informed couples work
What Betrayal Trauma Can Feel Like
Hypervigilance and intrusive thoughts; checking devices or locations
Sleep disruption, appetite changes, difficulty concentrating
Swings between anger, sadness, anxiety, and numbness
Spiritual or moral injury; feeling “crazy” or isolated
Pressure to decide immediately whether to stay or go
Your reactions make sense. We treat betrayal trauma as real trauma, not overreaction.
The First 48 Hours (Stabilization)
Safety first: If there’s any risk of self‑harm or violence, call 988 or 911 and seek emergency help. We’ll support next steps once you’re safe.
Regulate your body: Sleep, hydration, simple meals, short walks, and breathing/grounding practices.
Contain spirals: Set time‑boxed windows for logistics and questions; pause late‑night detective work.
Create immediate boundaries: Devices, finances, time apart/together, and a no‑contact rule with third parties (as applicable).
Get support: Identify 1–2 safe people (or a therapist) for containment—not the entire social circle.
We’ll help you turn these into a written plan in the first session.
Our Treatment Path (Phases)
1. Stabilization & Safety
Assess immediate risks and resource your support system.
Teach nervous‑system regulation skills for flashbacks, triggers, and sleep.
Set short‑term boundaries that lower chaos and stop further harm.
2. Information & Boundaries
Clarify what information you need now vs. later.
Draft a boundaries & transparency plan (devices, finances, location, sexual health testing).
Coordinate medical referrals when needed (STI testing, medication for sleep/anxiety via your physician or psychiatrist).
3. Healing & Rebuilding (Your Choice)
Individual healing: grief work, identity repair, and meaning‑making.
Couple stabilization: Gottman‑informed trust‑building, conflict de‑escalation, and structured repair conversations.
Decision pathways: remain together, structured separation, or conscious uncoupling—with dignity.
4. Relapse Prevention & Aftercare
Identify triggers, early‑warning signs, travel/tech contingencies, and support plans.
Build a values‑aligned life so you’re steering by what matters—not by fear.
Navigate the future with direction and confidence
What Care Looks Like (Options)
Individual Therapy for Partners
A confidential space to process impact, reduce symptoms, and decide your next right step.
Skills for sleep, panic, and intrusive imagery; EMDR available when indicated.
Strategies on creating boundaries, communication, and emotional regulation.
Conjoint Sessions (When Ready)
Therapist‑structured conversations to stabilize the relationship and address accountability.
Clear guidelines to prevent blame/defend cycles, with repair moves and time‑outs.
1–3 Day Couples Intensives (Optional)
For motivated couples seeking momentum, our Couples Therapy Intensives compress months of progress into days—stabilization, skills, and a written plan.
Boundaries & Transparency: A Starter List
Device passcodes/logins held by a neutral party or temporary read‑only access agreements
Location transparency and guardrails for travel/work events
No‑contact commitments and consequences
Financial transparency (cards, accounts, subscriptions)
Sexual health testing and agreements for physical intimacy
We’ll tailor these to your safety and values. You do not have to go through this alone.
Why California Couples Counseling
Trauma‑informed, partner‑centered treatment that doesn’t rush your decisions
Gottman‑informed couples work for structure and predictability
Clear plans, not guesswork—you’ll leave early sessions with written boundaries and next steps
Discreet support with HIPAA‑secure Telehealth statewide; in‑person in San Francisco
faqs
Common questions about Betrayal Trauma Therapy for Partners
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No. We slow things down so you can choose from a grounded place after safety and stabilization.
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Not always. When it’s appropriate, we use a therapist‑guided, paced process with aftercare to minimize retraumatization.
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Absolutely. Many partners start individually to stabilize before any joint work.
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Yes. We integrate your values respectfully and provide affirming care for all identities and orientations.
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We’re out‑of‑network for most plans. We can provide a superbill for standard sessions; intensives are typically not reimbursed.
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Yes! For those who want quicker results this can be very helpful. Click here for more details about our Couples Therapy Intensives.
Ready to get started?